


Mistletoe Kisses

by MarinLiliz



Series: Mistletoe Kisses [1]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Sex, Christmas Crack, Fluff and Crack, Food Sex, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Parody, Romance, Yumi and Ikkaku have fun with whipped cream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-16
Updated: 2016-12-23
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:56:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8871229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarinLiliz/pseuds/MarinLiliz
Summary: Follow Renji's quest to get Byakuya under the mistletoe and obtain his Kiss. With several detours and interruptions will the red-haired fukutaichou succeed in his task?





	1. Stolen

**Author's Note:**

> Back in '07, a few days before Christmas, I was not into season's spirit and decided to write something to help me with it and this was the result. Most of these are complete crack; the characters are 'out of character' and the plotline is dubious, at best. But, after having written all of the parts, I realized that it kinda worked like a whole story.  
> Nine years (!!!) on, I just decided to give 'em a polish and repost them to AO3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renji, Byakuya and Ukitake meet under the Mistletoe; kisses are expected but who's to kiss who?

“What is this plant called again?” Kuchiki Byakuya questioned, eyeing a small branch of green foliage and white berries tied with a bright red ribbon.

  
Abarai Renji followed Byakuya’s eyes to the bouquet hovering above them and replied, “mistletoe, Kuchiki-taichou.”

  
Byakuya noted the resemblance in the brightness of the ribbon’s red to the fiery hue of Renji’s hair. “And, when under it one must kiss the person who is, in the same moment, also standing under it?” he persisted, still confused by the practice.

  
“Yes, that’s the rule; it’s a very ancient one.” Renji flashed his lopsided grin, leaning closer and pouting his lips suggestively. “It would be almost a crime not to do it.”

  
“And I have to kiss everyone I meet under it?” Byakuya was still reluctant of following this ancient tradition but a rule was a rule, even if it one from the human world, and he didn’t want to dismiss it completely.

  
His Fukutaichou seemed distressed and panicky, arms waving. “NO! No, no... uh... I mean... just one time is enough.”

  
Byakuya leaned forward. “Well if it is a rule, I suppose I have to abide by it.” And kissed Renji on the cheek.

  
Renji looked disappointed, his frown pushing the tattoos on his forehead towards his eyes, making his face look depressed. “It has to be a real kiss for it to mean something,” he explained.

  
“A real kiss!?” Byakuya furrowed his brow. “Lips to lips, you mean?”

  
“Yes!” The black lines on Abarai’s face rose again with joy. But a white-haired interruption seemed to spoil whatever plans hid behind his grin.

  
“Ah, Byakuya and Renji-kun! So nice of you to come to the 13th Division Christmas party. Such a lively affair, is it not?” Ukitake Juushirou greeted them happily, giving an overall glance to the crowded place.

  
“Ukitake-san, good evening!” Byakuya inclined his head in acknowledgment. “It truly is a delightful party,” he answered with the polite and by-heart reply, as Renji murmured an apathetic, "Hello, Ukitake-taichou."

  
But Ukitake didn’t seem troubled by their lack of enthusiasm and regarded cheerily after spotting the small branch over them. “Oh, how wonderful, we’re under mistletoe!” And pounced into Byakuya’s arms, kissing him long and soundly.

 

Renji gaped. “ACK, Ukitake-taichou!!!” He could swear he’d seen a tongue darting out somewhere in the swap.

  
Ukitake grinned mischievously as he released a stunned looking Byakuya-taichou. “I’ll have to go see if I can get Shunsui under the mistletoe.” And disappeared, trotting, into the sea of festive _Shinigami._

  
A slightly embarrassed Byakuya - his usually pale cheeks bore a healthy red blush - slightly pleased - the left side of his mouth raised in a semblance of a smile - rapidly changed the subject. “Well, I’ll have to go and mingle with the other _Taichou_. You should go and do the same. It is not polite to monopolize only one guest.”

  
Renji was flustered. “AH!? What about my kiss?”

  
Byakuya raised an eyebrow. “ Didn’t you say once would suffice?”


	2. Missed Opportunity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone seems to be enjoying that strange plant and Yumichika also wants to give it a try.

 

Madarame Ikkaku and Ayasegawa Yumichika watched with interest the exchange between Kuchiki-taichou and Ukitake-taichou. It had never occurred to them that the calm and sickly _Taichou_ could be so sassy or that the dark and frozen Kuchiki Byakuya would allow such a display of affection, especially in public.

“There’s somethin’ fishy ‘bout those weeds,” Ikkaku said eying the foliage with some suspicion.

“It’s a shrub!” Yumichika corrected. “I like the colour contrast, the white berries with the green leafs and the red ribbon, it’s beautiful!” He leaned into Ikkaku’s back in a comfortable and familiar position. “But it does seem to have a strange effect on the people that stand beneath it,” he agreed.

They followed Ukitake-taichou saunter down the room to Kyouraku-taichou and as he brought him back under the discussed branch to share a long, comfortable kiss.

After those exchanges more people seemed to venture under the mistletoe - as Ukitake-taichou had called the plant - kissing and playing under it. Almost everyone in the room seemed to want to have a go underneath it.

  
Matsumoto kept lurking nearby to see if she could catch good prey to smooch and bury down her bosom and Renji made several attempts to get his _Taichou_ under it once again, all of the attempts unsuccessful.

Yumichika grew impatient, he too was feeling like trying the festive shrub and its strange properties but every time he glanced Ikkaku’s way, the bald man pretended to be uninterested and finding it all a bore. Finally Yumichika grew tired of waiting.

“I’m going to go,” he said, strutting towards the mistletoe. “See the wonders of that shrub for myself.”

Ikkaku’s eyes followed while Yumichika moved back and forth under it, trying to get some reaction from the plant; Ikkaku smiled at the annoyed look spreading through Yumi’s face as no effect was obtained.

In wide strides and before anyone had the chance – Shuuhei looking suspiciously like he was ready to make a move – Ikkaku reached Yumi. “So, any tinglin’ feelings? Any sudden need to kiss someone?”

“Not really!” Yumi replied, pouting. “I was expecting at least a small prickling on the back of my neck. But I’m getting nothing.”

Ikkaku moved closer and gently blew into Yumichika’s neck.

“OH! Wait, it’s...” Yumi jumped excited, turning towards Ikkaku, but soon discovered the deception. “That was not amusing...” he accused as he moved away. “...at all”

“Baka, you wanted a small prickling in the back of the neck, I gave it to you.” Ikkaku moved closer again. “So, wanna kiss under this? It might bring us some good luck.”

Yumichika looked up at him, still sullen but seeming to concede and moving to kiss Ikkaku when something hit their heads. It bounced on Yumi’s silky hair then on the shiny head next to him and finally stopping on the floor a few inches away from their feet.

Yumichika looked troubled. “Oh no! Why did it have to fall down NOW!?”

  
He was preparing a tantrum when Ikkaku reached for is chin raising it to his face and murmured, “who needs a stupid shrub to kiss under, anyway?” And pressed their lips together.


	3. Old Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ukitake seeks Shunsui to stand with under the mistletoe.

Ukitake Juushirou walked away from a stunned Byakuya and a shocked Renji-kun, feeling pleased with himself.

Those two were in need of a good push; the mutual attraction between Taichou and Fukutaichou of Division 6 was clear to him, they had been orbiting each other for months with no apparent result. So, if he could help them get on with it, he most certainly would lend a hand. Or lips in this case, he mused, smiling.

It had felt really good to kiss Bya-kun once again. With the familiar bitter taste of bergamot still lingering in his mouth, he reminisced their time together; they had been a sturdy house in a blizzard for each other, a strong shoulder to lean on before they could walk steadily once more. Now they had new grounds - or old, in his case – to tread on forward and so he let the memories sink back into unconscious thoughts, only to be roused in a tempest, if ever.

Sauntering across the room, he greeted the people, while looking for his ground, his home. He wasn’t too hard to spot, not only did his pink haori and straw hat stood out from the monochromatic crowd of shinigami uniforms, he was near the drinks – where else!? – and accompanied – of course! – by Ise-san, his fierce and loyal Fukutaichou – that, even in a party, held on to her large notebook.

His heart quickened at the sight of his love, thumping heavily in his chest, as it had since the moment he’d realise that this man held it with all the tenderness possible and would tend it regardless of their relationship status.

Stilling his heart with a cleansing breath and smiling softly, Juushirou made his way over to them, interrupting Shunsui’s conversation with Hisagi-san.

“Good-evening, have you been enjoying yourselves?” he addressed the small group cheerfully. They all smiled and replied politely.

Shunsui looked at him, winking in acknowledgement. “Nanao-chan, Hisagi-kun, if you’ll excuse me.” He bowed to them and turned to give Juushirou his full attention, offering a hand.

Juushirou laced their fingers and informed Shunsui, “I have a hanging business to resolve with you.”

“I figured you did.” Shunsui squeezed their fingers tightly, grazing his thumb over the pale skin in an accustomed gesture. “So what’s this pressing matter?”

Juushirou turned to face Shunsui, walking backwards through the talking and drinking shinigami, while pulling his lover across the room to the festive plant. “Not pressing, a hanging matter.”

He stopped and glanced up, grinning as he brought their intertwined hands to his thin lips and licking Shunsui’s palm.

Shivering from the rogue tongue and the look of pure delight in Juushirou’s face, Shunsui asked, “Is this the shrub you’ve told me about?”

Juushirou nodded. “Mistletoe!”

“The one that compels you to kiss whoever’s standing underneath it with you?” Shunsui pulled at their linked fingers, bringing them closer, kissing his Juushirou tenderly.

“The very same!” Juushirou whispered into the warm mouth. “Do you like it?” He pressed himself closer, a smile colouring his lips and cheeks.

“I like what I can do under it.”

Shunsui kissed back, a soft sweet kiss but Juushirou wanted more. He slipped his tongue across Shunsui's, savouring the deepening kiss.

“I’m beginning to like this plant very much.” Shunsui, smirked into white hair, his face pressed to Juushirou’s neck.

Juushirou smiled devilishly. “I’m glad. I’ve stuffed your room with it. I expect a large amount of kissing to take place there tonight.” His tongue traced the rough beard and Shunsui shivered again.

“You’ve been taking a bit too much of your cough syrup again, haven’t you, Juu-chan?”


	4. "A Room Full of Mistletoe, Wasted!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Juushirou's plan for a night well spent, fails.

Ukitake Juushirou surveyed the emptying room with a tired, yet content sigh. The party had been a success. People had enjoyed themselves, forgetting, for at least this night, the tension that plagued Soul Society as they continued to face the Arrancar threat.

The bulk of the shinigami had already left, but a few still lingered. He could see Ayasegawa-kun and Madarame-kun, near the food table, conversing over a bowl of cream Juushirou was thinking of using later.

Zaraki-taichou was busy trying to dodge Yachiru-chan’s slobbery lips as she tried to cover his face with chocolate imprints of her little mouth – she was succeeding, half his face was covered in chocolate. Shunsui was talking with Ise-san, while waiting for him to finish things up.

Another remaining shinigami was Byakuya, who stood near the hanging mistletoe, staring up at it with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Since Juushirou's work was mainly done, and his shinigami had everything else in hand, he approached the younger Taichou.

“Renji-kun will take it personally if you keep avoiding the mistletoe whenever he’s around but stand under it with dreamy eyes once he leaves.”

Byakuya took a few seconds to realize he was being addressed, he seemed a bit disconcerted that he had been caught deep in his thoughts and then further taken aback when he discerned Ukitake’s words.

Sensing his discomfort and loss of words, Juushirou decided to change the subject. “It was a lovely evening; I had fun forgetting the troubles ahead,” he said, grinning and then added conspiringly, “and remembering old times.”

Relieved with the change of topic, Byakuya nodded. “Indeed an interesting soiree, very well done Ukitake-taichou,” he complimented. “It seems everyone has enjoyed themselves to the fullest.” He looked pointedly at the hanging branch.

“Oh, yes. I believe the mistletoe was an excellent addition to the party.” Ukitake’s laugh was interrupted by a small hack. Byakuya eyed him, but he shook his head, saying: “I’m okay. Just a bit tired from all the kissing under the mistletoe.” He winked, grinning and coughing some more.

“How have you been?” Byakuya asked, unexpectedly. “We used to talk and discuss matters regularly over tea but lately...” He looked nostalgic. “Also, your action when Rukia was... the Soukyoku… and my actions, I did wrong by you, and I still held a grudge, and...”

Ukitake stopped the words with a hand to Byakuya’s lips. “It is all water under the bridge. We acted according to our beliefs. Right or wrong it isn’t for us to decide, Bya-kun.”

He seemed to want to counter the statement but then nodded, confessing: “I miss our conversations.”

“So we should resume our regular talks.” Ukitake smiled.

“The tea pavilion has been mostly neglected these days, you should come by for some tea.” His lips turned upwards in a semblance of a smile.

“We have an agreement, then.” Ukitake made to smile but a familiar feeling of something crawling up his throat from the inside had him grimacing and hunched in seconds. His body shook in a coughing fit.

He could see, in between heaves, Byakuya’s concerned face; an arm wrapped around Ukitake’s shoulders, supporting him. He could also sense the commotion in the room, the people gathering around, meaning to help but distressing him further. His faithful and ever watching 3rd seats – Kotetsu and Kotsubaki – appeared out of nowhere to attend to him, forgetting their constant bickering over who was the best in assisting him.

Through the fog his vision had become, he could see Shunsui striding towards him, a dreaded expression on his face. He took him from Byakuya, wrapping Juushirou's fragile body with his strong arms, setting him against his steady chest. He whispered against his ear, “Breathe, Juushirou. Calm and steady. Breathe.”

Juushirou tried to do as he was told, grabbing Shunsui’s arms for support and coughing some more as he attempted to control his lungs.

In a commanding voice he only used when absolutely worried, Kyouraku asked for space around them. All but Byakuya complied.

Ukitake didn’t think it was that bad; he’d felt worse. His cough seemed like it was going to let him breathe again, but his chest felt like it had been clawed raw by angry cats and it rumbled as he heaved. Still pressed against Shunsui’s chest, he tried to follow his rhythm. In and out. Long and slow.

“That’s it Juushirou, follow my breathing. Breathe in.” He let his lungs inflate.

“Breathe out.” He let the air out.

Shunsui seemed to relax as his cough stopped and his breathing levelled. Juushirou felt so tired.

“C’mon, let’s take you home. You need to rest.” Shunsui offered his arm to Juushirou in support. Byakuya offered to help as well, but Shunsui dismissed him summarily. The Kuchiki heir sought Ukitake’s eyes for his response.

“I’m fine, Bya-kun.” He smiled weakly and corrected at Byakuya’s raised eyebrow. “I’ll be fine with just Shunsui.” He eyed the man next to him, who nodded. “I will take you up on that offer for tea, maybe sometime next week?”

“I’ll be expecting you,” he answered with a slight bow, adding: “be well.” Then Byakuya took his leave.

He was reaching the door when Juushirou teased: “and do hurry and get Abarai-kun under the mistletoe.” He could swear Byakuya was blushing as he nodded very, very slightly. The laugh he suppressed made the cough return and Shunsui scolded him.

“The moment you recover, you start exerting yourself again. You have to give it time, Juushirou.”

"Ah, you’re no fun!”

“Not with your health, I'm not.” He looked too serious, then his expression softened and he said, “come on.”

They left the 13th Division headquarters, leaving behind two very busy but diligent 3rd seats to tend to the final tidying of the place.

They walked, in small steps, through the cold night, Shunsui’s help increasing as they distanced themselves from crowded areas. Just an arm for hanging onto at first, then both his arms around Juushirou for support, as well as shelter from the freezing air. He tried to suggest carrying him on his back, but the look on Ukitake’s face made him drop the idea without further argument. Still, somewhere along the way, Shunsui put his pink, flowery haori on Juushirou’s back simply saying: “don’t argue!” Before he'd even opened his mouth to do so.

They reached Shunsui’s house soon after, heading into the mistletoe-filled bedroom. Shunsui went to the kitchen to brew some herbal tea and to get something to eat, as well as some medicine to ease his lover’s cough and wheezing. Meanwhile, Juushirou traded his uniform for warmer, more comfortable clothes and lay on the bed, observing the plants over his head with disappointment.

He was still eyeing them when Shunsui returned with the tea. At seeing his sad face, Shunsui asked with concerned: “Something wrong? Are you feeling worse?”

“No.”

“Juushirou!?”

He glanced over at Shunsui, sighing. “It’s just, I had this night all planned out. Kissing under all this hanging mistletoe and... It’s all a waste now. A room full of mistletoe, wasted!”

He usually didn’t give in to the disease or the fact that his body was weaker than most other shinigami’s, but tonight he’d made all these arrangements and had had so many quirky ideas, and they were all ruined. Because of a stupid coughing fit, he was so tired he could hardly lick his lips let alone kiss Shunsui properly.

His lover set the tray with the tea down, handing him a cup as well as the medicine. He then lay down beside him, adjusting Juushirou’s pillows and kissing him on the forehead. “Never a waste! Any moment with you can never be a waste. And who says we can’t enjoy the room full of mistletoe?”

Adjusting himself comfortably, he pressed Juushirou to his chest, as if he were another pillow. Shunsui proceeded to kiss him lightly all over the face: eyes, cheeks, lips, ears, chin, forehead, nose...

A soothing hand on his back, easing his aching muscles, and the multiple chaste, love-filled kisses, lulled Juushirou to sleep.


	5. Chantilly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bowl of Chantilly captures Yumichika's attention.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chantilly is the french word for whipped cream.
> 
> Also things get steamy and sticky and a little bit kinky in this chapter, so the rating has changed to explicit and a few tags have been added.

Yumichika poked leisurely at the glass bowl of whipped cream set right next to a plate filled with succulent strawberries on the food table of Division 13 Christmas party and took the fluffy cream into his mouth.

He hummed. It tasted divine! The sweetness of the cream and sugar perfectly balanced with an eluding bitter taste. What was it? Lemon! He identified, after another tasting of the white cream and moaned in pleasure.

“What are you doing?” The question was asked with a slight pause in every word and a gulping sound at the end.

“Tasting the cream. Why?” Yumichika asked.

Ikkaku, who was standing next to him and had been observing intently, blurted out. “You’re putting on quite a show, that’s why! And people might want to eat that!” he added, with a sudden of bout of good manners.

Yumichika eyed him sceptically. “What people!?” He glanced the almost empty room, only a few _shinigami_ were left and none seemed interested in the food table. “Everyone’s gone. And besides I have plans for this.” He fingered the cream again and poked Ikkaku’s nose, grinning. “I was just checking if it fits my palate and agrees with my plans.”

-

Ikkaku bit his lower lip, trying not to groan. “What plans, Yumi?”

“Follow me home and you’ll find out.” Another scoop of cream left the bowl in Yumichika’s finger, traced his lips as if lip balm, and got devoured into the lush mouth.

This time Ikkaku didn’t even tried to muffle his groan.

Taking the bowl, they left swiftly, paying no attention to the commotion on the inside.

If Ikkaku had had his way, they would’ve _shunpo_ home; seeing Yumichika was calling all the shots, it took a few minutes to reach the 11th Division officer’s house. They walked in and moved directly into the only bedroom, Yumichika commanding. “Take off all your clothes.” When Yumi was this bossy, things were surely to be fun.

Ikkaku obeyed and stripped rapidly, while Yumichika changed from his shinigami uniform to a red, silk _yukata_ , removing the feathery accessories from his eyelashes.

“Why is it that I’m buck naked and you’re wearing that?” Ikkaku questioned, even if mesmerised by the sight. Damn! Yumi looked good in red. Way too good, he was starting to feel.

“Because I look beautiful in it!” Yumichika replied affectedly as if it was an obvious matter that Ikkaku was overlooking and then pointing to Ikakku's awakening cock, he said, appreciatively, “you look just fine to me like that and I don’t see you complaining. Now lay down on the floor, or else we’ll dirty the futon and you know I hate to sleep in an icky bed.”

Ikkaku acceded to the demand with a shiver definitely not from cold, despite the threat of snow on the freezing winter night outside. He laid down propped on his elbows, knees up and pressed together, covering his assets.

-

Yumichika looked over at him, smiling, pleased with the view and the quick compliance; feeling his face turn the colour of his _yukata_ as Ikkaku slowly and teasingly spread his legs, invitingly. He accepted the invite and, taking the bowl of cream, joined his gorgeous companion on the floor, kneeling in between his thighs.

“Are you gonna put all that cream to some use?” Ikkaku said, raising his hips.

Yumichika swiped his finger through the cream and brought it to his mouth, savouring the over sweetness and moaning in delight. And, complying with Ikkaku's taunt, he proceeded to pour generous amounts of it over key points of Ikkaku’s body.

He then traced Ikkaku's lips with a succulent red strawberry he’d taken from the party table. “Hold it there,” he demanded. “No biting it down.”

And at Ikkaku's raised eyebrow, he offered as explanation, “it matches my _yukata_ and your complexion. There needs to be a certain balanced aesthetic to all things.”

Ikkaku huffed in laughter but held on to the strawberry.

Yumichika let the red silk slide down his left shoulder, exposing part of his chest and moved catlike to lap at the cream in Ikkaku’s body.

He licked the nose and the chin; sucked at the neck and navel; nipped thighs and balls; bit shoulders and nipples.

Ikkaku seemed to enjoyed it all with throaty groans of pleasure and hoarse moans of torture, trembling every time Yumichika got close to his aching erection but failed to touch it.

Ikkaku took the strawberry from his mouth and complained, panting heavily. “Will you stop teasin’? I’m dying here!”

“You’re no fun. Aren’t you enjoying this?” Yumichika licked the mixture of cream and come from Ikkaku’s cock, moaning at the taste. It was just the right combination.

Under him, Ikkaku whimpered, shutting his eyes. He reached for the bowl, coating Ikkaku’s penis with rest of the cream in it.

-

Ikkaku felt his erection twitch from the cold cream and opening one eye, saw Yumichika move on top of him, straddling his hips. “What are you doing, Yumi?” he asked, mixed concern and need. “You haven’t...”

Yumichika placed a cream covered finger to his lips. “Shhh, I’m fine.” And then reached for the discarded strawberry and pressed it to Ikkaku’s mouth again. “Keep it there this time.”

Ikkaku licked the fingers and held onto the strawberry, trying hard to obey the demand of not biting it, as Yumichika lowered himself on to his cock with excruciating slowness.

Then, after a few awkward movements of adjustment, Yumichika seemed to find the right position and angle. Hands on Ikkaku's shoulders for support, his body started undulating as Ikkaku carefully thrusted upwards to meet his rhythm.

Ikkaku sucked on the strawberry’s juices, attempting not to bite or drop it, as the warmth and tightness of Yumichika filled his senses. The slow hypnotic movements, straining him to the limit.

His hand slid down Yumichika’s chest unlacing the silky fabric of the summer _kimono_ , presenting Yumichika’s glorious body in all its splendour. The creamy white skin in deep contrast with the blood red _yukata_ , clinging to the one shoulder; the hard nipple, Ikkaku couldn't resist press his thumb to; the gorgeous leaking cock, bobbing in time with their movements.

“Harder.” Yumichika commanded.

Ikkaku complied, his hands sliding from the Yumichika's hips to grab his perfect ass, guiding his thrusts to reach deeper.

They came, hard. Yumichika pressed his forehead to Ikkaku's, harsh panting breaths mingling.

Once recovered, he moved away just enough to spot the strawberry still in Ikkaku’s mouth, if a bit mangled.

“Good boy! The strawberry on top of the cake,” he murmured and bit into it, before sharing it with Ikkaku in a passionate, fruity kiss.

 


	6. What Could've Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Urahara's shop, Byakuya waits for Renji near hanging mistletoe...

Byakuya sighed in discomfort. He was tired from a strenuous mission, his _reiatsu_ was as thin and weak as it had been on very few occasions and he was feeling wary of Renji’s delay. Furthermore the shinigami standing in from of him seemed determined to wear out the rest of his strength with talk. For all that was sacred, couldn’t the man just shut up!?

He’d been yapping non stoop since Byakuya gotten here. About the exercises and _Arrancar_ fighting. About his new inventions, that, he was convinced, would empower the _shinigami_ __for the task of defeating Aizen and his minions, if allowed to be put to use. About his views on the Spirit world, the Real world and the relations between them. He mentioned everything that came to his extremely bright mind, no filter between it and his mouth, Byakuya was certain.

A pause in his tirade to brew some tea, gave Byakuya the chance to rest and observe the shop he was currently in. His eyes wondered the odd objects and fixed on a plant placed slightly left from his head – mistletoe, the shrub Renji had talked about; this time there was no red ribbon resembling his _Fukutaichou_ red mane; the paleness of the berries more similar to the owner’s own light blond hair; Byakuya pondered on the coincidence as the man returned with the tea.

Years before and the chance to kiss this man would’ve seem as a gift from god himself, to a young Byakuya. Now a certain red-haired _Fukutaichou,_ with a grin to die for, held pretty much every thought and desire of Kuchiki Byakuya, not that Byakuya would let him know this anytime soon but still it was the truth.

Not postponing the task further, he rose from his sitting position, his legs almost rigid from all the time he’d been there, just seating, and made his way closer to the former _Taichou._

“It’s mistletoe.” He pointed to the plant above their heads. “One is suppose to kiss when under it.”

Urahara Keisuke watched him move closer, surprise on his face, but didn’t deny the offered lips.

They kissed.

It was an awkward moment, it had immense potential but there were things holding them back.

Noises and commotion from the store front, and some kid yelling something about a freeloader drove them apart.

The green clad man grinned. “Abarai-kun has you well behaved, Kuchiki-san!”


	7. Best Served Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Byakuya and Urahara break their kiss under the mistletoe, Renji arrives at the shop with Ichigo.

Renji walked up to Urahara’s shop with Ichigo right behind, both tired, bloodied and ragged from another Arrancar encounter and subsequent fight. The whole shop staff seemed to be waiting for them at the entrance; and he could also sense Byakuya’s very light _reiatsu_ inside.

“In for more free food, freeloader-san?” The red-haired boy - Jinta - provoked. The little girl beside him whimpered something that sounded like, "don’t be mean, Jinta."

Renji, feeling too tired to reply accordingly, just showed his teeth in what he hoped was a menacing grin. “Yeah, yeah kid.” And moved pass the assembled crowd, intent on finding out why his _Taichou’s reiatsu_ was so low.

He entered the store, closely followed by Ichigo, glancing at the empty front room, tidily organised by Tessai-san - the massive muscle man in an apron - or so Urahara had said. The familiar _reiatsu_ loomed in the back, a stronger one lingering close by.

Renji walked to the backroom in a steady stride with a determination he didn’t feel. Stopping at the ajar door and taking in the sight with apprehension: Byakuya and Urahara-san stood, mere inches apart, in a staring contest.

“Urahara-san! And Kuchiki-taichou! Wassup?” Ichigo greeted, moving towards them.

Byakuya nodded to the substitute _shinigami_ and eyed Renji with an awkward expression, something between discomfort and annoyance.

“Oh, mistletoe!” Ichigo exclaimed excited. “Didn’t know ya had this tradition in Soul Society too. And what’ve ya two been up to?” He smirked, observing both _shinigami_ intently.

Renji saw them moving further apart, an enigmatic grin in Urahara-san’s face, quickly covered by his fan, and a light blush in Byakuya’s otherwise stern face.

“C’mon then. Give us a kiss!” Ichigo taunted, lips pouted, headed their way and kissing both in the mouth, with as much noise as one can humanly produce.

Renji gaped at the scene before him, as the rest of the shop dwellers arrived at the backroom; Tessai whistled, Ururu clapped her small hands with an enthusiasm Renji had never seen in the doe-eyed girl and Jinta catcalling while eyeing him.

“Hey, freeloader-san, now’s your chance to kiss someone.” He leered. “You’ve been complaining everyone’s getting a kiss but you!”

Renji’s face matched the colour of his hair, turning even deeper red as all faces in the room looked his way, Byakuya being the one he dreaded the most; his _Taichou_ remained impassive but for one inquiring eyebrow.

A surge of anger boiled within Renji, turning to Jinta he grabbed him by the collar. “You little... I’ll drop Zabimaru on ya!” He shook the boy and growled at the obnoxious kid. “Ya’ll neva know what hit ya!”

“Hey now. There, there Renji-kun. No need to get violent, Jinta was only trying to help.” Urahara-san intervened.

Renji dropped the kid, who scurried behind Urahara and blew his tongue at him still provoking, and eyed the former _Taichou_ in disbelief.

“Only tryin’ to help!?” Renji could feel the whole room staring at him; Byakuya’s gaze burning his skin.

“Well you did complaint the other day...”

“Urgh!” Renji yelled exasperated. Not only had the hat-wearing _shinigami_ most likely been kissing **his** _Taichou_ , he was also disclosing one of Renji’s drunken confessions; he lowered his head, he was now truly hoping a hole would open up and swallowed him in one piece, but life didn’t seem to be that merciful. Luckily someone was.

“Urahara-san, I think is time we head back to Soul Society! Our fights have been tiring and we’re all in need of rest and of replenishing our energies,” Byakuya spoke in his regal and professional voice. “If you could, open the Gate, I would be very much obliged.”

Renji dared raise his head again: Byakuya still bore his impassive mask, Urahara had moved away searching for the things needed to open the Gate between worlds; only Ichigo was watching Renji with an amused smile.

“All set,” the shop owner announced, producing the large _shoji_ doors that lead into _Seireitei_ , hopefully to Division 6 headquarters or somewhere very near.

“Thank you for your help and hospitality, Urahara-san” Byakuya nodded and made his way to the Gate, halting at its brink and glancing back. “Renji.”

Renji took a step towards the Gate and his _Taichou_ but a hand grabbed him and pulled him back and warm lips pressed against his, a sweet tongue poked his gritted front teeth seeking passage into his mouth. He considered for a second allowing the warm tongue into his mouth, but it was a fleeting desire. He backed away eyeing Ichigo, who licked his lips savouring Renji’s taste.

“What was that for?”

“That’s your kiss under the mistletoe!” the boy replied, adding in a whisper, “or did your complaints of not bein’ kissed meant not bein’ kissed by Byakuya?”

Any kind of denial Renji could've uttered was betrayed by the furious blush on his cheeks.

Ichigo, sensing his discomfort, added still whispering. “Have this as your little revenge,” he kissed him on a red cheek. “‘Cos he sure has been ‘round the mistletoe. Safe journey home, Renji.”

Renji, speechless, could only nod and turn to the Gate to follow his _Taichou_ home but Byakuya had already gone through.


	8. No One Else But Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya plots his next move.

Byakuya stepped through the Gate and into Soul Society. The spirit energy the place was made of quickly replenishing the low levels of his _reiatsu_. Still this time, more was going to be needed for a full recovery of his strength, than simply breathing in the air of _Seireitei._ It had been an exhausting battle.

He stared at the Gate for a few seconds trying to decide whether or not to wait for Renji. But his conflicted mind and the uncertainty of his reaction towards the _Fukutaichou_ made him leave. Live today, fight tomorrow – the old war strategy came to mind.

Surveying the surroundings, Byakuya noticed he was near his Division’s headquarters. He pondered for a moment heading to his office, but the hour was late and the reports of their mission on the Real World not pressing; his weary body and troubled mind helped in the decision.

He was half way to the Kuchiki Manor when his personal guards – appointed by his elder clan members, who apparently still thought of him as a poor, defenceless little orphan boy – reached him and promptly escorted the powerful _Shinigami_ Captain securely back to his own quarters for some well deserved rest.

What he had witness just before leaving the Real World had an effect on him he hadn’t anticipated and easy sleep didn’t come so fast. He laid awake in an insomnia filled night wondering. Sure Renji and Kurosaki Ichigo had been under the mistletoe and it was only normal for people to kiss under the mistletoe. So why was it so upsetting to him?

The answer came in the early hours of the day: the Kurosaki boy seemed too hands on Renji for his taste. And Byakuya didn’t want anyone else kissing **his** _Fukutaichou,_ no one else but Byakuya was to kiss Renji.

Something had to be done!

A semblance of a plan formed in his mind as Byakuya drifted off to sleep.

If only Senbonzakura would agree.


	9. Under/Over Rated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Renji leaves for Soul Society, Ichigo and Urahara discuss the relation of Taichou and Fukutaichou of the 6th Division.

Kurosaki Ichigo watched the large _shoji_ door disappear in a shimmer of light, concealing the back of the red-haired _shinigami_ that had just crossed the Gate into Soul Society.

The silhouette of Urahara, outlined in the glimmer of the Gate’s evaporation, moved towards Ichigo where he laid, propped on one elbow, right next to the used coffee table.

“Let’s hope they’ll manage to work things out this time,” the man in the hat said.

“I think it might actually take a bit longer,” Ichigo replied, sceptically. “Byakuya just bolted outta here. I don’t think he was very pleased with me kissin’ his precious little ruby.”

“He shouldn’t be complaining. He’d just kissed me, of his own accord, mere seconds before you’d walked in.”

Ichigo eyed Keisuke amused and interested. “Oh, really? Was it any good?”

“It was curious. It might’ve lead into something else if not for the interruption,” he said with mocked annoyance.

“Sorry to spoil your fun, then.” Ichigo smiled, sating up and placing his arms around his knees. “Though Byakuya shouldn’t have made that face if he had just been doin’ the same,” he complained, and then added innocently, “and we were just kissin’. No harm done in some smooches.”

Keisuke opened his fan and closed it, pointing at Ichigo. “Byakuya is a complex man. What is dead given for some, might never come to cross his mind. Kissing me under the mistletoe, he only did it because someone told him it’s tradition to do so...”

“I would bet my money on Renji,” Ichigo interrupted, grinning.

“Probably so.” He grinned back. “Abarai-kun knows, better that anyone, how Kuchiki-sama is with rules and breaking them. And seeing that he is interested, it would be a most clever move on his part.”

At this Ichigo snorted. Renji and clever didn’t work well in the same sentence. “I’m betting it was accidental. Anyway, kissing under the mistletoe is overrated. You people from Soul Society are way too stiff.”

Keisuke chuckled and moved closer to the coffee table, crouching near Ichigo’s knees. “People from Soul Society are stiff, in all the right places.” He put his hand on Ichigo’s right knee and let it fall down the sculpted thigh.

Ichigo felt a light blush stain his cheeks as the warm hand wondered dangerously. “Is that a fact?”

“Care for proof?”

“Seeing as we’re under mistletoe, we could kiss.” Ichigo grabbed Keisuke’s _haori_ and pulled him closer, removing the striped hat with his left hand, and throwing it away with a wrist spin. But the shop owner seemed to have other plans.

“Isn’t kissing overrated?”

“I think I could go with the flow,” Ichigo replied, biting Keisuke’s lower lip.

“I happen to know a few activities involving stiffness and mistletoe that are way underrated.” Keisuke leaned forward, kissing Ichigo passionately, his hands tugging open Ichigo’s _hakama_.


	10. A Well Devised Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Byakuya finally sets in motion his plan to get Renji under the Mistletoe. But was it really his plan?

Byakuya woke the next day with his energy almost fully recovered. The plan he devised during the night was ready for execution. He went through his morning rituals with ease and determination, not bothered by the customary sour looks of the Kuchiki family members.

He arrived at his office early, quickly running his eyes over pending affairs and yesterday’s reports. All was swiftly dispatched; the only thing left was to add Renji’s part to the report of the previous day’s wanderings and clashes against the Arrancar in the Real World.

Byakuya was now free to dedicate himself to the plan. He called on Senbonzakura, explaining his plan and asking for permission, as well as advice, from the _zanpakutou_.

It was mid-morning when he sensed Renji’s _reiatsu_ approaching headquarters. Byakuya sensed his heart speeding as he made his way to the door, just in time to catch Renji passing by.

“Would you step into my office, Abarai-fukutaichou?”

Renji eyed him, a suspicious look on his face at the formal words, but did not waver as he stepped into the office. “I was going to go finish my report and then hand it over to you, _Taichou_.”

“That is not what I have to discuss with you,” Byakuya informed, closing the office door. “The report can wait until later.”

They stood, studying each other for a long moment, before Byakuya spoke. “Although not always intentionally, I believe I’ve been avoiding you every time we’re near a mistletoe branch. And even if mislead by the idea of it being an absolute essential to good social conduct, I’ve pretty much kissed anyone else I found under it.”

He eyed Renji sternly. “So, with this in mind, I’ve decided to set the matter straight.” He held the hilt of Senbonzakura.

-

  
Renji stared at him, a panicked glint in his eyes. “Wait! I’m sure we can discuss this some more, _Taichou_.”

“I know what I have to do, Renji. There’s no need for further discussion.”

Renji gulped as Byakuya unsheathed his _zanpakutou_. “Scatter, Senbonzakura!”

Renji took two steps back apprehensively, his hand on Zabimaru's hilt. This release form of Senbonzakura, however, was completely unexpected.

“ _Taichou_?” he whispered mesmerised.

Instead of the deadly pink shimmer of flowing _sakura_ petals that Renji was accustomed to seeing when his captain released his _zanpakutou_ , continuously multiplying red, green and white specks of light illuminated the room as they circled around. The colourful specks moved to gather over their heads and took on the familiar form of Mistletoe.

Renji blinked once, then blinked again. The third time, he managed to let out the air from his lungs in a noisy gasp. Blinking a fourth and fifth time, he groaned in disbelief. After his sixth blink, he dared to glimpse at Byakuya. “ _Taichou_!?”

-

Byakuya moved closer to Renji and covered the gaping mouth with his own, tentatively pushing his tongue into the Renji’s mouth, feeling the muscle come to life, contacting with his own. Warm, wet and rolling with his.

Eventually, they parted. Looking at Renji's tattooed face, Byakuya said, “that was for only kissing you on the cheek the other day, at Ukitake’s party.”

He held Renji’s hand and pulled him under another branch; leaning closer he kissed him again, this time harder, as if trying to bruise tender lips. “That one was for letting Ukitake, kiss me.”

He licked Renji’s lips and moved under another branch. This time long, savoured kisses were planted all over the _fukutaichou’s_ face and neck. “For kissing Urahara-dono, in his shop yesterday.”

Renji’s eyes looked down into Byakuya’s. “So you really were kissing him before we arrived.”

Byakuya simply nodded and had them under another hanging mistletoe, kissing the tattoos on Renji's forehead and neck. “This is for letting the Kurosaki boy, kiss me.”

Renji shivered as Byakuya guided them in a dance across the room, from mistletoe to mistletoe, failed opportunities redeemed.

Beneath another mistletoe branch, Byakuya nipped Renji’s ear, taking the soft lobe into his mouth, sucking; the skin tasted of green tea.

Renji tried to reach the _Taichou’s_ mouth but Byakuya didn’t let him, pushing them into the desk, pressing his body flush against Renji’s, grinding their hips together. Renji gasped.

“This is for letting Ichigo kiss you,” Byakuya whispered.

Renji chuckled, rolling his hips, pressing them into Byakuya’s. “Apparently he was right. His plan is working.”

“Oh, it was all a plan.” He thrust into Renji. “Devised by Kurosaki Ichigo.” Another thrust. “For me to kiss you.” He bit Renji’s lower lip, drawing blood.

Renji moaned and his tongue licked the bruised area, meeting Byakuya’s tongue doing the same. They groaned at the contact and pressed harder into each other. Renji twisted a leg around Byakuya’s calf, increasing the points of contact between the two. “I think I should let him kiss me more often,” he teased.

“I think not! I’ll kiss you regardless.” Byakuya countered.

“It seems a good deal, to me.” Renji conceded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story wise, this is it!  
> There's one more chapter on the same theme (of kissing under the mistletoe) but it doesn't really follow the storyline. I think it can be read as an extra, or a prequel of sorts.


	11. You Can Kiss...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another adventure of Renji and Byakuya under the mistletoe, this time involving Zaraki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was inspired by the infamous [Shinigami Golden Omake from episode 142](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx-qa-A8qfQ%22), that heavily implied that Byakuya and Zaraki enjoyed spending time together.

“I don’t think I’m following your explanation, Renji.” Byakuya eyed the green plant placed over their heads.

“It’s tradition in some places of the real world, during a certain seasonal festivities they hang these around their houses. When two people meet underneath it, they must kiss,” Renji explained, eager.

Byakuya eyed him suspiciously. “That means we’re suppose to kiss every time we are under it?”

“Exactly!”

“Even if it’s placed right in the middle of my office and we are bound to meet under it countless times?”

“Precisely!” Renji grinned, mischievously. “It’s not only in your office. I’ve placed it everywhere around the Division headquarters.” The tip of his tongue ran the length of his lower lip.

Byakuya chose to ignore the challenge and be more concerned with other matters. “Hmm, and how did you learned this human tradition?”

Renji flushed and fidgeted, leaving Byakuya more suspicious and a tad apprehensive. “Well!?” he pressed.

“Ichigo taught me,” Renji blurted out.

Byakuya’s concerns had come true “Oh, the Kurosaki boy taught you, did he? Then you can go and stand under this dreadful and foul plant with him for all I care! ” And he stormed out of the office.

“ _Taichou_ , wait! It wasn’t... He didn’t... We haven’t...” Renji failed the explanation, Byakuya already far down the corridor, his scarf waving behind him.

Renji ran after him, stopping abruptly as he saw his current _Taichou_ coming to a halt to speak to his former _Taichou_ – Zaraki Kenpachi.

“Ah, Kuchiki-taichou, just the man I was coming to see,” the massive captain greeted cheerily. Taking in his surroundings, he spotted the plant hanging over them and his trademark grin filled his face. “Oh, mistletoe!” he said, his eyes sparkling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on December '07.  
> Last edited on December '16.


End file.
